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Red Waffle
Journal
Personal, Part 5: The Final Chapter
Wednesday, 20 August 2003
God, I am a fucking idiot tard. I am a pessamist, and I always look for the worst thing to happen. I saw this coming, but, I don't know, why am I so hurt. If I saw it coming, it shouldn't hurt so much, right? What the fuck am I saying no one reads this. Anyway, I will pretend someone does, and continue. You know, fill you in on the details. Anyway, yesturday I met with her... yada yada yada, and she calls me today. She wants to hang out, even though yesturday she didn't want to. So that gets me excited, not in that kind of way, think outside your pants. Anyway, so I picker her up, and damn, I mean DAMN, did she look good. She had to call her mom and tell her what was going on. I just could stop myself, just looking at her beauty. There were no lights on, so it was just a silluette. But I am getting beyond the point, cause thinking this hurts even more. Anyway, we goto the mall, since I haven't been there since the new wing opened up. We get there and she has to go to Hot Topic. She knows the guy working there and she go and has a cigarette with him. I feel aquard at this point. After that we go back to the mall, she buys condoms and tells me she wanted to have sex the other day but didn't have any. This makes me think different of her. I probably shouldn't have wrote this, but hey, it happened. We then decide to leave, since the mall is closing, and we head to Denny's to sit and talk. We get there, and order, yada yada yada, I bring up the topic. I said I was going to, and I did. Yeah, should have saw that coming. If you didn't guess by the way I started this entry, she said NO. Then there was a lot of aquard silence. The rest of the conversations seemed forced, I didn't want her to know how cruched I was, and I think I pulled it off well. Then her Ex walks in, we have to leave right away. Yeah they just broke up two weeks ago and it didn't end well. She feel if we had a relationship, it would be like that. We leave in a hurry, and stop at Burger King and talk for a while. She wanted to see if her friend was working, he wasn't. She calls some guy, and I give him a ride to her house. She leaves with him, and I leave alone. Yeah, what a night, at least I know where I stand. Incase you want to know why it says final chapter, it means the CH chapter is complete, and if I start another chapter, it will be called something else then Personal. A five part story, and it seemed so long. It hurt, but time heals all wounds, Right? Well, until next time... eat a waffle.
Mood: sad and alone
Music: Sound of Silence.